


Because I Love You (Drunk and Sober)

by allthejaeyong



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2019-04-25 11:37:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14377839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allthejaeyong/pseuds/allthejaeyong
Summary: Because it has always been Taeyong for Jaehyun and Jaehyun for Taeyong.breakups or make ups.drunk or sober.





	Because I Love You (Drunk and Sober)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys, this is basically a collection of one-shots for my Confession AU on twitter. 
> 
> Again, thank you so much for reading it. I've said before that I'll try to make an epilogue and then decided to make more for the other important parts of the story. 
> 
> I hope you like it ^^

**_"we fight and scream,_**  
**_break up and leave."_**  
-fight day, bolbbalgan4

☆

Taeyong doesn't really remember how everything started. Back then, everything seemed so easy, it was a love like flowers blossoming in spring. It was a gentle breeze, soothing and relaxing. Jaehyun was supposed to be his home, his sanctuary, his healing, _his paradise._

But rght now, he isn't. It has been two minutes, just two fucking minutes standing at the end of the lobby with his boyfriend staring straight into his eyes.

Taeyong sees it again, the longing, the anger, the hurt, the confusion, _the thoughts_...the damn fucking thoughts.

Second thoughts.

 

He doesn't remember when he's first seen them. Jaehyun's eyes used to be shining, glowing, full of emotions, love, happiness....content. They used to look at him with trust, with passion, eyes he loved the most 'cause it mirrors his.

It was one of those things that Taeyong thinks made him love Jaehyun the most. His eyes are as honest as his heart, it doesn't fail to make him melt, doesn't fail to make him lose control, go crazy and fall inlove over and over again.

Jaehyun's eyes, he thinks.

_Jaehyun's eyes are my favorite._

 

"Jae please, not now." he asks distressed. For weeks they have been fighting, for days they have been snapping at each other, minutes of shouting and not really fixing a thing.

"Taeyong you know we need to talk about this, I'm really tired too."

 

Tired. Yes, tired. Taeyong thinks about how their days have been, he was tired too. Too tired, loving Jaehyun? No. He will never get tired of loving Jaehyun because that love is his strength, a pill to go on just another day.

A reminder that no matter how shitty his day has been, how useless he feels about being a son, a brother, a Lee, Jaehyun is there. A memo that reminds him to go on. Go on Taeyong, you have Jaehyun to love after all.

However, he was tired of the circumstances. That no matter how much they've tried (still trying) everything just doesn't fall into place. He was busy, so is Jaehyun. It was always the circumstances, it was always the surprise practices, the unplanned group works, the spontaneous need of help that Taeyong- nice little Taeyong never fails to answer to that turned things like this.

 

"What do you mean you're tired of this?" There was a painful tug in his heart and the pain he's been denying for days just came rushing without adieu.

Taeyong thinks ahh, _is it time already?_

And then he looks down the floor, hands clenching with hurt and fear.

Taeyong thinks _no Jae, can we hold on a little bit more?_

"Are you tired of me?" he dared to ask. Jaehyun's silence was deafening, he wishes he was indeed really deaf to convince himself that hey, I couldn't hear your silence, I couldn't hear how much it means yes to me.

"No...Tae."

Relief.

 

"But we can't go on like this."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"Like this. Being here face to face without really being here heart to heart. I need your time."

"I'm giving you my time."

 

"It's not enough."

Wow. Taeyong almost snorted. Almost. Not enough time. Wow. Is that why he was out there going out with girls? That girl? Is that why he lied to him? Is that really why he's really getting tired in all of this? Because Taeyong doesn't have time and Jaehyun has all the time to play around with others?

Taeyong refreshes the fucking memory a few days before. Jaehyun has texted him for luch but something came up and he texted him he couldn't come, only to be surprised a little later afted finding his boyfriend sitting accross the table in some cafe with a fucking girl. That girl again. Seriously? Taeyong feels he's breaking.

"I wanted you to come to my games but you never did, you're always with other people not me."

"I tutor them Jaehyun, you know that."

"I know...but you can't blame me 'cause who knows right?"

Taeyong's head snapped up into Jaehyun's eyes and there he sees it. A look of accusation.

 

"Who knows what?" Jaehyun looks away, bits his lips before turning back.

_Don't say it please._

"Some of them might like you."

 

"WHAT?!" he's shouting now. That's probably the fifth time this week.

"You wouldn't really know right, some of then might like you, just there because they like you. They might take advantage."

Taeyong laughs, really laughs because how.dare.you.

"That isn't even a problem, I don't care even care about things like that."

 

"OH REALLY?! IS THAT WHY YOU'RE ALL HAPPY AND SMILEY AROUND THEM?!"

 

"YOU REALLY THINK I'D DO THAT TO YOU?!"

 

"WHO KNOWS! YOU'RE NOT TELLING ME ANYTHING! YOU CARE SO MUCH ABOUT THEM THAT YOU FORGET YOU HAVE YOUR OWN BOYFRIEND!"

 

The nerve of this man! Taeyong thinks, the never to accuse me of these things when he's the one hanging out with a girl and even lied to me.

The nerve.

 

Taeyong might really just be breaking now.

 

"H-HOW COULD YOU EVEN SAY THAT? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!"

 

"You can't blame me Taeyong, if this is how it's going to be, why not just break it?"

 

There it is, the one thing he's been avoiding to hear the most.

 

The one thing he ever wanted to bury deep down his thoughts despite knowing the fact that everything will probably come resurfacing soon, and it did.

Taeyong breaks.

 

"JERK." this time he whispers, this is making him really tired, it's exhausting. It's just so much to take and he's doesn't know if he's capable of taking it anymore.

 

He likes to believe this might just be another one of those days, just another fight day.

Another day where he looks straight into Jaehyun's eyes with remorse and pain, another day where he starts turning back to walk run off.

 

"No baby wait, I'm sorry." He hears Jaehyun's faint voice calling out to him, telling him to stop but not really moving forward. Telling him to not go but never really stepping an inch to pull him closer.

It's times like this that hurts the most.

 

 _Yes baby, I'm sorry too._ Taeyong whispers to the thin air, eyes red as he runs off away from suffocation.

Away from Jaehyun, _his Jaehyun._

 

 

"Baby please..." he hears him again.

 

Taeyong slows down, looks back at Jaehyun still in the same place, never moving.

He looks into his eyes.

 

There he sees it too, a look of remorse and pain, a mirror of his own feelings, a memo telling him that yes, they were both hurting.

Jaehyun's eyes, he thinks.

_Jaehyun's eyes are my fear._

 

Taeyong bits his lips, the tears pooling down his cheeks little by little as he turns back yet once again to finally run.

 

_Baby please, stop me._


End file.
